Q&A
Q: Is it the case that all postures for meditation are favorable for the establishment of mindfulness? Are there some that are ideal or those that you should not adopt?
A: Actually, sitting, standing, walking, and lying down are all good. Each of them has their weaknesses, though. Lying down is probably the most dangerous because it’s so easy to fall asleep when you’re lying down. The way to counteract that is to lie on your side and be very conscious to place one foot on top of the other and to keep it there. The intention to keep it there helps to counteract the tendency to drift off.
With walking meditation, your concentration won’t be as strong as with sitting meditation or meditation lying down, but some people find that walking is especially good for inducing insights to arise.
Q: Sometimes I see a place or I visit an image of something precise during the meditation, and these views will reveal themselves to be true later. Is it the mind or the mental quality that circulates and is always peaceful?
A: Just make note of the fact that these things can happen and otherwise simply let them be.
Q: Many of the dogs that used to come have disappeared now that I don’t nourish them. Thank you for that metaphor. But sometimes there’s an important thought that comes, such as fear, which I want to explore, to identify what’s behind the fear: the fear of abandonment, lack or loss. But the breath comes and makes it disappear and something stops my exploration, as if someone had closed a door so that I can’t go any further. Is this my ego? What is it that stops my exploratory path? What to do?
A: In a case like this, try to follow the thought as far as you can. If something seems to close the door, see if you can open it up again. Ask the member of the committee that may have closed the door, “What are you afraid that I might see?” If the thought doesn’t come up for you again, then let it go for the time being. Rest assured that the opportunity to explore it again will come back again, and the next time you may be more ready for it.
Q: There’s a lot of chatter going on in the mind. How can I suspend it? Can you give me some details for dealing with verbal discourses in the mind?
A: Basically, this is what directed thought and evaluation are for. In other words, to stop yourself from thinking about other things, keep your mental conversation focused on the breath and on keeping the mind with the breath. Now if, while you’re talking to yourself about the breath, there seem to be other thoughts nibbling away at the edges of your awareness, keep focusing on the breath and what you’re telling yourself about the breath. Simply let the other thoughts be. They may chatter in the background, but just don’t pay them any attention.
Q: For the past few days and more vividly today, I have a song in a loop in my head, and I’ve tried many things to stop it: I focus on my breath, concentrate on a new center in my head, repeat goodwill mantras, focus on the birds singing, but it all seems to keep going on. What can I do? It’s like an obsessive thought, like a loop in the brain. How can I shake it off, this restless mind that’s like a radio in the background of my head. Even when I don’t pay any attention to it, it’s still there. Thank you for your teachings.
A: Basically, there are two ways of dealing with this. One is to think of a chant and repeat that chant in your head to block out the song. The other is just to think, “Well, this is just something in the background that I don’t have to pay attention to” However long it goes on, just tell yourself, “I’m not disturbed by it. The breath is still here for me to focus on.”
Q: I sense a contradiction between meditation on the breath and meditation on goodwill. The first seems to lead to a state in which the sense of “I” evaporates, whereas the second one leads us back to a happiness for me and for you and for others. Are they compatible and if so, how?
A: It’s like getting two different scientists to talk about a rock. One scientist is a geologist; the other is a quantum physicist. When the geologist talks about the rock, he’ll talk about whether it’s a sedimentary rock or an igneous rock or a metamorphic rock. The quantum physicist won’t talk about those types of rock, he’ll talk about the atoms and the quarks. Now, their two different ways of describing the rock are compatible because they’re talking about the rock for different purposes.
In the same way, you spread thoughts of goodwill because you’re trying to motivate yourself to practice and also to motivate yourself to act well in the context of other people, so it’s natural that you think in terms of “you” and “them.” Whereas you use breath meditation to start taking apart the processes of your mind, one of which is to see how your sense of self develops. You’re not saying that there is no such thing as a “me” or an “I” when you’re doing breath meditation. You’re trying to understand the steps in how you create your sense of “me” and “I” to see how and where it’s causing suffering and how you can stop.
Q: Can you give some more re-explanations of the concept of becoming?
A: Becoming is a process that starts with a desire. You focus on an object that you want, and then there comes a sense of the world in which the object is located. Then the next question is: What powers do you have within that world in order to get the object you want? And what obstacles do those powers face in that world? That’s how a sense of your identity and agency in that world begins to form. That world and that sense of you within that world is a state of becoming.
Now as you put together this state of becoming, there will be certain steps in the process, such as the factors of dependent co-arising called fabrication, name-and-form, and sensory input. For instance, your acts of attention focus on the desired object, your perceptions identify it as desirable, and your intentions want to attain it by exercising agency. It’s through those steps that you create, even within your mind, a world in which that object exists, and then you go into that world. You stay in that world, with that identity, until you lose interest in that particular object. Then you drop it and then you go for another object, setting in motion the steps leading to another state of becoming. If you’ve ever observed yourself as you fall asleep, you see that this is the process by which a dream world appears and then you go into the dream. The same process also happens at the end of life, and that will actually take you out of this body and into another body.
Q: Please talk about the practice of intentional discernment as opposed to spontaneous moments of clear understanding.
A: Basically, the steps for giving rise to discernment intentionally are the same five that I talked about yesterday. If there’s something in the mind that you want to understand, first you want to see how it originates and then, two, how it passes away. If you pick it up again, you then want to see what’s the allure or the appeal of that particular thought. That’s the third step. The fourth step is to look for the drawbacks. In other words, what suffering comes from going with that thought? When you see that the drawbacks are much heavier than the allure, then as a fifth step you feel dispassion for whatever it was and you let go. That’s how you escape from it.
For example, suppose anger arises in the mind. You want to see what in the mind sparks the anger. Then, how long does the anger actually last? At what point does it pass away? If you pick it up again, then the question is, what do you like about the anger? You might feel that anger gives you a sense of power. You might have the feeling that “When I’m angry, I don’t have to worry about the consequences of my actions; I can just do and say what I want.” Or you feel that if you let go of your anger, you’re going to be seen as a weakling.
Then you look to see: “What are the drawbacks if I actually follow through with that anger? What’s going to happen?” You can see all the damage that anger does in your life. The allure has led you to do things you regret, and then it disappears, leaving you with the consequences. Then you compare the allure with the drawbacks, and when you can see that the drawbacks are heavier, you let it go.
Those are the steps in intentionally giving rise to discernment. Sometimes, though, you spontaneously have an insight into any one of these steps without having planned to. What makes the insight a genuine insight is that it gives you reason to let go, and you actually experience a reduction in suffering that comes when you let go.
Q: In this flow of life after life, there is nothing about me, but how can I contribute to all of this, in the context of meaning and doing and the purpose of life as life?
A: Basically, this is the process of becoming-again. There is a purpose for each becoming—each state of becoming has a sense of “me” with a purpose—but the problem is, you might have many different becomings with different purposes working at cross-purposes. What the Buddha’s recommending is that you can decide on a higher purpose for yourself, which is to put an end to suffering and to make that your highest priority. Then you judge your other temptations for becoming as to whether they contribute to that purpose or not, and accept only those that work in that direction. Otherwise, we tend to wander around pretty aimlessly. What the Buddha’s telling you is that you have the power to decide what is the purpose of your life, and you owe it to yourself to choose the best purpose possible. When that purpose is attained, you have no more need for your sense of me, because that happiness is totally sufficient.
Q: Can one say that the Buddhist notions of the deathless, the unborn, the uncreated, and the unconditioned connect with the notions in other spiritual traditions, like eternity, absolute, infinite, or God?
A: On the level of abstraction, there are many similarities. The question is, on the level of practice, is there a difference? The Buddha said that nibbāna can be obtained only through the noble eightfold path. In any tradition that has the noble eightfold path, it is possible to attain nibbāna. In any tradition that does not have that path, it’s not possible.
Q: I still have the belief that I can think about the worries of my son or the sufferings of a close relative while I’m meditating and it can help me to be a little more efficacious in developing the right attitude toward them or the right word to say to them. If I don’t create any scenarios with all of this and I come back to the calm and concentration, is there any problem here?
A: No
Q: Second part: How do you live a life of dispassion of the deathless once the meditation is finished? I have a sense that part of me is afraid to renounce attachment because I have children and I would have fear that I would become indifferent to them.
A: You will never become indifferent to your children.
Q: Third part: Should I just send them thoughts of goodwill when they are having their worries? In brief, how does one practice non-attachment when one is a layperson?
A: You learn how to pick up your attachments and put them down, realizing that if you carry them around all the time, they become a heavy burden. You know that when your children have problems, you’ll be there always for them, but you can’t constantly be thinking about your children. Even if you’re not a meditator, you’re not thinking about your children all the time, right? So while you’re meditating, you say, “While I’m meditating, I’m going to clear out my mind so I can have some practice in learning how to let go when I really have to. I’ll also become stronger, so that I can be more helpful to my children when I have to.”
Q: Back to the second part: What’s it like to live when there is dispassion, when your meditation is done and you’re in the deathless?
A: There’s dispassion, but there’s still goodwill, and goodwill is shown not only by an attitude of thinking, “Goodwill, goodwill, goodwill,” but actually helping people when you see they need help. It’s a lot easier to be helpful when you’re not weighing yourself down with unnecessary sufferings. But you always have to keep in mind the fact that some day you’ll have to let go of your attachments to your family. Otherwise, when you die, you may come back as their child or as their dog.
Basically, the Buddha’s not saying not to have affection for the people you love. Remember that the word for clinging in Pāli, upādāna, also means to feed on something. As long as you’re feeding on a relationship, it’s bad for you and it’s also bad for the other person. So it’s good to learn how to have affection but without having your whole happiness depend on that person.
Q: We have two questions about Buddhist funeral rites. One is: In the Catholic Church you have priests who will occupy themselves with how to conduct a funeral ceremony. But without any Buddhist monks here, what do I tell those who are close to me so that they know how to organize my funeral rites when the moment has come?
The other question is: What are the funeral rites for a Buddhist meditator?
A: We’re going to be doing a section on grief in a couple of days, but one of the basic principles for a Buddhist funeral is that, on the one hand, you say good things about the person who has passed away, and about what that person meant to you. This is basically for your sake so that you can express your appreciation for that person. On the other hand, you want to do meritorious things, such as giving gifts of generosity or taking on the precepts and then dedicating the merit to the person who has passed away. This is for the sake of that person. Otherwise, a Buddhist funeral can be designed any way you want as long as you have those two aspects in mind.
For example, you can do anything you want to the body of the deceased, such as cremation or burial. It won’t affect that person’s rebirth. You don’t have to have Buddhist monks chant, but it is good to read a few Buddhist texts. You get to choose the texts you want for your own funeral.
Q: What do you think about people who meditate for their well-being and not out of conviction?
A: Go ahead. There are no demands.
Q: There’s a question about getting involved in political activities.
A: Basically, regard your political activity as a gift to society. That may be one of the ways in which you practice generosity. Now, there are a couple of principles about being generous in a wise way. One is that you don’t harm yourself or harm others in the process of giving your gift, which basically means that you don’t break the precepts and you don’t get anybody else to break the precepts. Another is that you have to look at the state of your mind. If you find that it’s getting harder and harder to meditate because of your political activities, you might want to stop them for a while.
Q: Does Buddhism allow the gift of organs?
A: Yes.
Finally, we have a number of complaints about hell. I’d just like to make a few comments in response.
There’s no demand that you believe what the Buddha said on this topic. However, it is a belief that’s part of the Buddhist tradition, so we can’t pretend it’s not there. Some people think that the Buddha said to believe only the things that you can experience for yourself. However, that’s not quite what he said. He recognized that there are certain aspects of life where you have to make commitments without full knowledge. For instance, whenever you do an action, you have to figure out: “Is the effort I put into this action going to be worthwhile? Will the results be worth the trouble?” To make that calculation, you have to decide, “Do I believe in rebirth or not?” You can’t say, “This issue is irrelevant to me,” because how you calculate the results of the action will depend on whether you believe that the results will extend into future lifetimes. So you have to make a commitment based on some working hypotheses that you live by. The Buddha’s standard for issues like this is, “If I take on a particular belief, what kind of actions will it cause me to do and what will the results of those actions be?” If you see it has a good impact on your actions, you take it on as a working hypothesis.
The question comes up: What about the fear that comes with the belief in lower realms? Remember the Buddha said there are two kinds of fear associated with death. There’s ordinary fear, which is based on a sense of powerlessness, and then there’s the fear of compunction, which is based on the sense that you do have power through your actions, and you’re afraid of using it unwisely. This is an adult form of fear and it’s something that the Buddha recommends. Given that there is the possibility of rebirth, he says, how can you live your life in such a way that you don’t have to go to a bad destination?
Many people think the fear of hell is an unhealthy fear because they feel powerlessness in its face, but the Buddha’s talking about this issue precisely because there are things you have the power do. Even at the moment of death, when it looks like the doors of hell are opening up in front of you, you can remind yourself of all the good things you did in this lifetime, and as long as you maintain right view, then it’s possible to escape that fate.
And the Buddha’s teaching you this not because he wants anything out of you. It’s basically because he wants to be helpful. If it so happens, when you die, that you see the doors of hell open in front of you, remember, the Buddha’s giving you help, so take advantage of it. Otherwise, you don’t have to think about the issue of hell that much. We’re trying to take you in the other direction.
Q: What happens if we get mental diseases like Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s dementia? Can we meditate? Can we prepare for death?
A: If you see that Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s is coming on, meditate as much as you can. At the same time, leave instructions for the people who are taking care of you to play Dhamma talks for you to listen to. If there’s any calming music that you like, make some playlists of calming pieces so that they can play those, too. My father had Parkinson’s, and toward the end he had his lucid moments, and he had his moments when he was not lucid at all. So when he was lucid, I would talk to him about Dhamma topics, even though he didn’t like Buddhism. I didn’t mention “Buddha” or “Dhamma,” but what I said was Dhamma and it put his mind at peace. For the moments when he was not lucid, we had some slow movements from classical music on a playlist for him. Before we had done that, he was often quite agitated, but the music calmed him down and he had a peaceful death.
