Q&A

Q: Why do we meditate?

A: Ideally, we should be meditating because we realize that we’re causing unnecessary suffering and we would like to stop.

Q: When one is face-to-face with a person who is suffering and is not on the spiritual path, how can one help them? With reference to all that you’ve said and taught us about pain, what can one say to that person? How can one aid that person simply?

A: What we were talking about yesterday were techniques for someone who believes that it is useful to learn how to endure pain but not suffer from it. So, whatever that person’s background of beliefs, you try to use that background to help motivate him or her to see that, Yes, it is useful to learn how to endure pain without suffering from it.

Q: Is it possible that a person might be convinced or grasp subconsciously that his or her pain is deserved from past bad kamma and that nothing can aid that person?

A: You have to convince the person that what we experience is not just the result of past kamma. What we’re doing right now in the present moment also plays a role in how we experience the present moment. Think for a moment about the Buddha. Before teaching people how to put an end to suffering, did he ask them, “Do you deserve to suffer?” He never asked that question. He said, in effect, “If you’re suffering, this is how you can put an end to it.” Also, he never talked about people “deserving” to suffer. He did say that certain actions in the past will tend to lead to certain results, but he was basically interested in convincing people that, Yes, they do have within their power not to suffer no matter what they’ve done in the past.

Q: All the instructions you’ve given on pain are very rich, but with all these methods and all these strategies, these questions present themselves to me. The first question is: Where do you start? And are there strategies adapted to certain types of pain? Is it necessary that you try by chance to see what works? What to do?

A: The first thing to do is remember Ajaan Lee’s first step: When there’s pain, don’t focus directly on the pain. Focus on another part of the body and get that as comfortable as you can. Step Twp: Once there’s a sense of ease in this comfortable part of the body, think of it spreading through the pain, out in the other direction, and then out the body. After that, that’s when you can go to Step Three: Focus directly on the pain and ask questions about it. As for the questions you ask, it’s hard to tell ahead of time which ones will get the best results. So that’s where you have to experiment and test things.

Q: I have a permanent muscular pain in the upper part of my back. When I visualize the breath, the pain amplifies with the in-breath. I’ve tried to adjust the length of the breath to reduce the pain, but my mind really prefers long in-and-out breaths. To counteract this pain, I lead my mind to a part that’s numb to the pain, but after a moment, the mind keeps going back to the pain. What do I do to neutralize this perturbation so that I can give all of my energy to the meditation?

A: You’ve got to train your mind to stay where you want it to stay. This is one of those points where you use the perception of not-self: “The upper part of my back is not mine. If the pain wants to have that, it can have it. I’m going to stay in another part of the body that’s not in pain.” When you can get your mind to stay focused that way and develop a good foundation in another part of the body, then you can deliberately return to the pain and start asking questions as we recommended yesterday, using whatever perceptions you can to remind yourself that the pain is one thing, but the back and the breath are something else. If all you can think is, “I want the pain to go away, I want the pain to go away,” that’s going to get in the way of actually getting past it.

Also, to make sure the pain doesn’t restrict the breath, try using the perception that the breath is there prior to the pain, so it doesn’t have to work around the pain. It’s already there. If you can hold to that perception, it can make it more possible to breathe in a way that you like regardless of whether the pain stays or not.

Q: Would it be useful to have a desire for the next life, for example, that you would like to become a monk or to become a great benefactor?

A: The best desire for your next life, if you’re going to have to be reborn, is: “May I come back to a place where I can practice the Dhamma.” If you place too many stipulations on where and why and how you want to be reborn, they might get in the way of that more important goal. For instance, suppose you were back in the 19th century and you were going to be born in Thailand. It turns out that, at that time, the upper strata of society were convinced of wrong view, believing that the way to nibbāna was closed and even the way to jhāna was closed. You might have been tempted to tell yourself, “I’d like to be born in the high level of society so that I can have power to do good,” but if that aspiration came true, you’d be raised in an environment filled with wrong view. On the other hand, if you had been born as a peasant in northeastern Thailand, you would have had a better chance to practice the Dhamma.

Q: You told us that it’s not really useful to know your past lives, but if someone has had a difficult life, seeing that this was due to a previous life where he misbehaved, could this possibly incite that person to change his behavior and to become more kind?

A: It is possible that it would be beneficial. But at the same time, if you know the general principle that your current life status depends a lot on your past actions, then you can just accept that as a general principle without having to know all the details.

I know a monk who used to be full of himself. In other words, he had a very high opinion of himself, he followed his whims, and was unwilling to listen to others. Then, one time he was staying alone in the forest. He was having his meal when something grabbed him by the back of the neck, pulled his head up, and said, “Look!” It was if, on the wall in front of him, a movie started to show. And basically, the message was, “This is what you did in your previous lifetimes.” He saw that he’d done a lot of really bad things. He ran out of the hut and threw up. After that, he became a changed person. So if you’re very full of yourself, maybe you could use something like that.

Q: Dear Ajaan, I thought I was joining a retreat that was silent. Maybe I was wrong. The group here brings me a lot of support most of the time. What to do when sometimes I feel a twinge of annoyance that just passes through?

A: It’s good to write a note like this every now and then so that I can remind everybody, “Please be quiet.” Silence is so hard to come by and it’s so easy to break. The Buddha said that one of the conditions for the maintaining of the Dhamma is that you have respect for concentration, which means respecting both your concentration and the concentration of others. At the same time, though, if there are people who are breaking silence, think of your mind as being like a screen on a window. The wind can go through the screen because the screen doesn’t catch the wind. In other words, don’t catch the sounds. And have lots of goodwill for everybody.

Q: Through my experience with my grandparents and parents, it seems that in old age, the boredom, the inactivity, the solitude, and the emptiness of the days that pass by happen more than any really horrible pains. How do we apply the Buddha’s teachings when the societal structures of the Buddha’s time do not exist today?

A: The practice here basically depends on conviction. If you’re convinced that life doesn’t end with death and that there is more that follows after it, then whether the social structures support you or not, you can decide to give your energy to things that will be useful as you get older. So if you believe that there’s good still to be done, think about that teaching of Ajaan Maha Boowa: that you squeeze as much goodness out of your body as you can before you have to throw it away. Even though society may not have much use for you when you get old, you can still get a lot of use out of your own life. Even when you’re alone, you can meditate on your breath to strengthen your mind and spread thoughts of goodwill, and that’s a positive contribution to the world.

Q: Concerning the four forms of clinging—for sensual pleasures, for habits and practices, for views, and for doctrines of self—certain teachers say that they all come down to one form or another of identity, in other words, the idea of me, mine, identification. Is this the case?

A: Every clinging involves a sense of “me.” However, there is a problem when people think, “Why don’t I just go to the root of clinging and bypass dealing with all of those other forms of clinging? I don’t want to bother getting rid of sensual attachments because I can just get rid of my sense of self first.” But the mind doesn’t work that way. You have to work with sensual desire first because otherwise, it’ll undermine your efforts to get rid of more subtle forms of clinging.

Q: I understand that I fabricate my feelings and my perceptions, however, I do not have the impression that I fabricate my thoughts that just arrive in grand number. Where do they come from?

A: They come from your past kamma: past actions you’ve done, past habits you’ve had, all kinds of things related to your past actions. Thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere actually come from your past kamma.

Q: In the committee of my breath, there are many members sitting in, but not many are in charge. The mind is the arbitrator for the long-term. Can a person be defined by all the different sub-selves that he has or can he be defined by one self that ends up dominating the others? If so, what is that called? Can one call that the tendency of a person?

A: The Buddha never wanted us to define what we are. He basically said just to look at what you’re doing. Now, if you do have a sense that there are many different members of the committee in your mind, try first to identify with the ones that are most skillful and put the other members out to pasture. The image is that you have some horses that you can’t use anymore, so you just put them out in a meadow, where you don’t have to feed them. You find that you pare down the members of the committee more and more and more until you don’t need anybody in the committee. That’s when you’re done. The different senses of self just don’t play a role anymore.

Q: My friends ask me why it matters which being I will reincarnate as, because it, she, or he will not remember that it, she, or he was me in the former life? Indeed, I have no memories of my former lives. Maybe they were much better, but I do not suffer from it as I do not know. This system sounds like you work really hard all your life for someone else to get the results from all your good actions. What should I tell them? P.S. Personally, I meditate and practice virtue for the benefits it brings me in this very life.

A: Are you the same person that you were when you were a child? Yes and no. However, many things that you did when you were a child, like going to school, are definitely benefiting you now. At the time you were a child you felt that “I am me.” Now you feel, “I am me,” even though you now look and act and think like a very different person.

The same sort of principle applies whether it’s in the same lifetime or going over to another lifetime. You will still feel like you. You don’t feel like you’re somebody else. So it’s not as if you’re doing good for somebody else. You’re doing it for what you become. If you’re practicing for the good that it leads you to do in this lifetime, all well and good. But also be prepared for the fact that it will actually carry over to what you become in the next lifetime around.

Q: Questions about inconstancy and impermanence. First question: Could inconstancy be defined as impermanence over a short time?

A: Inconstancy is the fact that things are simply unreliable and they could change at any time.

Q: Second question: Does inconstancy characterize one particular lifetime, whereas impermanence is applied to the succession of our rebirths?

A: We use the word inconstancy because it keeps reminding us that what we have as a basis for happiness is unreliable. The Buddha asks you to take his concepts and use them for the purpose for which they are meant. That way, you get the most use out of them. Here the purpose is to develop a sense of dispassion for the activities you’ve been doing that are causing suffering.

Q: In the course of the meditations during this retreat, I’ve seen myself return to my childhood or other times in my life: my adolescence, etc. Is this a habit that is awaiting me at the moment when I leave this body and should I cultivate it and let it appear at that time?

A: This is very common when people begin a retreat. When there’s less happening in the present moment, things from the past tend to well up in the mind. You have to learn how to have the right attitude toward such things, because it is true that at the end of life, events in this lifetime will often start appearing to you. It’s good to prepare yourself and say, “This was just in the past, and I don’t have to try to go back to the past.” Otherwise, you get attached there, and that will lead you to be reborn in a similar place, which is not necessarily a good thing. If it’s a good memory, that place or the people involved may not be so good any more, so don’t dwell on those thoughts. If it’s a bad memory, learn how to have lots of goodwill for everybody who was involved so that you’re not born under the influence of thoughts of regret or revenge.

Q: Can one in Theravada Buddhism believe in something that is transcendent, that works in invisible realms to provoke events in our life that has as its purpose to make us progress spiritually, something that is more grand than that, to which one can attain or submit oneself with confidence? The will and their efforts, don’t they have their limits? Is there not another aspect of devotion in this tradition?

A: Well, there is an aspect of devotion. We feel devotion for the Buddha for having shown us the way, for the Dhamma he taught, and for the Sangha who have kept the Dhamma alive. But the main emphasis of the Dhamma is that you do have the possibility within you that you can put an end to suffering, so learn how to have more confidence in your own efforts.

Also, it is true that within the tradition that they talk about the help that sometimes comes from devas. There may be some devas who were your relatives in a past lifetime who are concerned about you—and there are cases where they can really help you. And then there are the ajaans who are believed to be non-returners who can also help you. I know in my own life, as soon as I got to Thailand it seemed as if events were arranged so that eventually I went to meet Ajaan Fuang. It almost felt preordained. However, you have to remember that devas are not totally dependable. Some are not really wise, and even the wise ones can be a little fickle.

There’s a story in the Canon of a monk going down to bathe in a pool of water. There’s a lotus in the water, so he leans over to smell the lotus. Immediately a deva appears and says, “That’s an offense.” The monk says, “Oh, come on, it’s a minor thing.” And the deva says, “If you’re really serious about the practice, even minor things are very large.” So he comes to his senses and says, “Well, thank you very much.” And he adds, “If you ever see me do anything like this again, please let me know.” The deva responds, “Look, I’m not your servant. Look after yourself!” She then disappears.

Q: When I think about practicing mettā—goodwill and compassion—I have fewer thoughts, but isn’t this the tree that hides the forest? Aren’t the thoughts just being suppressed? How to skillfully use goodwill?

A: When you’re developing thoughts of goodwill, there are many, many ways of using them. At the same time, when you’re trying to get the mind into concentration, the first order of business is simply to get thoughts out of the way so that the mind can develop the solidity it needs to eventually deal wisely with its thoughts. There will come a time when you’ll want to look into those thoughts to see what defilements lie behind them. But in the meantime, as you’re trying to get the mind to calm down, whatever works to get thoughts out of the way is a necessary part of the practice so that the mind can become solid enough to deal skillfully with its defilements and not get pushed around by them.

As for using thoughts of goodwill, there are many, many ways of using them. Just basically remember what goodwill means: “May all beings understand the causes for true happiness and be willing and able to act on them.” In any circumstances where you find that’s a useful thought, go ahead and use it.

There was a question about visions that one of you had during meditation. The question to ask yourself about visions is always: Can I can get a Dhamma lesson out of this vision? If there is such a lesson, then you take it and test it to see if it’s reliable. After all, not everything that appears in the quiet mind can be trusted. If, however, it’s not the kind of message that you can test—as when it’s about something outside of you—then just let it go. Or if there doesn’t seem to be any practical lesson, let the whole thing go.

A second question concerned praying for others, asking, “If you pray for others, does it have an impact on them, and if so, how does this fit in with the doctrine of kamma?”

In Buddhism, we don’t talk about praying, but we do send thoughts of goodwill, which is basically having a good wish for that other person. When the mind has a thought, it’s actually sending out currents of energy, and sometimes a current of energy can have an impact on other people, especially if you have kamma with that person and if that person’s kamma is such that, at that moment, he or she can receive a good influence from outside.

As for your kamma: It’s like having a radio station. The more concentrated your mind, the stronger the signal you’re sending out.

And as for the people receiving it, if their radio is turned off, they can’t receive anything. If it’s turned on but tuned to another station, then they’re not going to get it, either. But if your kamma is in alignment so that actually you’re sending out a good signal and they’re in a position to receive it, it’ll have an impact—particularly on the state of their mind.