Patience

One of the things we’re trying to do as we meditate is to change our habits. After all, as the Buddha pointed out, we’re suffering because of things that we’re doing. And we’re doing them over, and over, and over again. That’s the clinging.

Like those little ground squirrels in the monastery: When danger comes, they start, “chirp, chirp, chirp.” The danger goes away, and they’re still, “chirp, chirp, chirp.” They can do this for hours. It accomplishes nothing, except for making the squirrel tired. In the same way, we do a lot of things that tire out the mind, wear us down. That’s the clinging, and it’s what the Buddha identified as suffering.

What the Buddha is trying to tell us is that there are other ways of behaving. So he gives us exercises to do as we meditate: things to think about, things to focus on to change the habits of the mind.

The problem is that you’re bringing a lot of your old habits to the meditation. One of those old habits is impatience. I’m afraid there’s no quick way to overcome impatience. You have to learn to do it gradually. But have the confidence that what you’re doing will lead to good results over time.

And you have to learn how to talk to yourself, to give yourself energy to keep on practicing, even when the results are coming slowly. So try to encourage yourself. Each little step in the right direction is a step in the right direction. Whether it’s little or big, the fact that you’ve made that step, even the mere intention to make that step, is something skillful. Then when you carry through with it, and you do it again, and again—and after a while you begin to realize it does make a change in your mind.

One of our problems is that we live in a society where everything is very, very fast. We have to think ourselves back to the days of the Buddha. Most people were farmers or lived very close to farming. Even the Buddha’s father had to plow. One of the lessons you learn when you farm is that when you plant the seed, you can’t get the fruit right away. You have to be confident that it will come. You can’t pull on the plant to make it taller. You can’t inflate the grains of rice to make them grow faster. But you can look after the roots, look after the soil, keep the bugs away, and the plant will grow.

Now, it’s going to grow at its own pace. You can induce it to grow a little bit faster, but there’s a lot of patience involved as well. So it’s a combination of patience and persistence. That’s what makes all the difference. So think yourself into that mindset. Have confidence that each breath that you stick with, each breath that you follow, is a step in the right direction, and it’s creating new habits. Learn some of the confidence that goes with those new habits, confidence that they will take you to a good place, and that you’re capable of sticking with them.

You may look at your past history and say, “I don’t see myself being very persistent or patient in the past.” But we can change. The changes may be incremental. They may be small. But each change adds on to the next change, and the next change, and the next change.

And you can turn yourself around.